Continuing SA Saga

I have met with SA 3 times for family sessions since I last posted about him. He is still down in Tulsa in a Residential Treatment facility. Hopefully, he will stay in a facility until he turns 18 or longer. The 1st week hubby and I went down, his therapist decided she couldn’t keep us safe, so we only talked to him by phone. He was very angry so I was glad he wasn’t in the room. She suggested I find a longer term residential placement and even get a CINS (Child in Need of Supervision) court order if I needed to. She felt it was hazardous to my well being for him to ever come home.

Week 2, we went down and he had a new therapist. Therapist #1 was afraid of him. He had threatened her one too many times. We now had a larger male therapist. He informed us of SA’s diagnosis’s, Schizoaffective Disorder, RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), Antisocial Personality Trait (can’t have the full blown disorder until 18), and Narcissistic Personality Trait. These are NOT happy things to have. Actually pretty scary. Antisocial Personality is the old Sociopath or Psychopath. He told us this was the combo of Serial Killers, not that SA would do that but he could. We did meet with SA, but had a burly guy outside the door, just in case. SA had been threatened with isolation if he acted up so he was fairly docile. It appeared to be a good session. It even seemed like SA listened and interacted.

This week I went down alone. Hubby couldn’t make it. I was pretty fearful, but go I must. Had the male therapist again. He is good, I am glad SA has him. SA was in a bad mood and mad at his therapist. He wouldn’t interact. Kept banging things on the chair and wouldn’t look up. Kept his hands over his face most of the time and refused to talk. He finally got fed up and walked out. I can handle walking out. That is a far better scenario than throwing chairs at me or attacking me. I hate being afraid of him, but at 6’4” he could do serious bodily damage to me and I have a strong desire to survive.

I am trying to find him a longer term placement. Where he is at maxes out at 4 months. Where he was the last 2 times – they can stay for years, if necessary. Unfortunately, they won’t take him back. Too many new issues. I do have him on a waiting list for a facility down in Oklahoma City. They have a CD (Conduct Disorder) program. He might be a bit beyond CD but it is at least something. Of course, SA says he doesn’t want to go because it is lock down and the boys and girls are separated. I just need to call and make sure that he is still on the waiting list and that they can take him soon. I will not relax until he is in a longer term placement. I live in fear of some yokel down in OKC making minimum wage deciding, “He hasn’t threatened to kill his mom in 3 week, we should send him home.” That is what happened last time. I just can’t do that again. Bottom line I just can’t live with him ever again.