I remember sitting in church a few years ago thinking that I am the person I am today because of all the events in my life. I am a compilation of all that I have been through. If I took any one thing away it would change who I am today. OK, I have to admit they weren’t all fun or nice thing. But everything from being adopted as a baby, being sexually abused as a child to winning Miss Mission Beach and passing the CPA exam, have made me into ME. This was the moment I ceased being a victim. How can I view myself as a victim when God allowed all these things, good and bad, into my life? HE allowed them in my life so I could eventually minister and reach other people. God has a purpose for my life. I can either work HIS plan or run away and hide all the things I am embarrassed about.
I have had a tendency to close myself off to people. All my life I have had things to hide. Even now, with a son who wants to kill me. I have a tendency to hold people at arm’s length for fear they won’t understand and will blame me. I need to change this. I need to keep Jeremiah 29:11, my life verse, at the front of my thinking. “’For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” The choice is mine. I best choose wisely.
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