I was talking to SA the other night on the phone and something about him trying to kill me came up and he made the statement that he has tried numerous times. Don’t ya just love it? OK – my mind went a little weird. All I could think of was the couple of times in the last month or so that I had such bad stomach pains that I thought about going to the ER. Random knife in the stomach pain. No vomiting or such – just stabbing pain in the night. Was he trying to poison me – did he put something in my food or drink? I have no idea. Doubt if I could get an honest answer out of him, if I tried. He is a pathological liar. Truth doesn’t pass his lips unless it is self serving. I asked him if he had tried to poison me – he said “no”. He said he had broken into our room at night with a knife to kill me but wasn’t sure why he hadn’t. He said the next day he had knife cuts on his hand, so he knows it happened. OK – I really don’t think this happened. Tho it appears that in SA’s mind it did. I am more inclined to think he tried to poison me. But regardless, the whole thing has made me a bit freaky. This is a child I can never live with again. He has been thinking about killing me for over 2 years now and I am tired of the stress and fear.
I have no idea how this is going to play out. My plan at the moment is to get him into a long term psy facility when he is finished with his acute placement. I know there is a long term RAD (reactive attachment disorder) program in Tulsa and a long term program for sexual issues down in OKC. He will be 18 in 9 months and 7 days (but who is counting). I just know he can never live in my home again. I can NOT take that risk. It really is sad.
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