I am definitely a mom. There is no way to get around it. Have been for over 40 years. I have 8 children and 4 step kids. Yep that equals 12!!! Life is definitely full for us.
It didn't start out to be like this. I had my 1st child my 1st year of college. It seemed like he would be an only child since I got divorced soon after he arrived. But 10 years later, I found myself married again and expecting #2. She was actually due on his 10th birthday. Go figure. But laid back as she is, HJ arrived a month later, weighing in at 10# 4oz. Then they just started arriving every 2 years. TA in '81 and JA in '83.
OK, some arrived by adoption. Adoption was something I decided I wanted to do when I was 12. I was adopted and decided I wanted to give a child the same opportunity that I had. I never wavered in that conviction. Finally in 1989 the time was right and we adopted our daughter LJ, who is #5 in the line-up. She came as a little 3 1/2 year old bundle of energy. My dream had finally come true. But bubbles burst and reality sets in. Things were not the way I had dreamed. LJ didn't adjust well, and of course I felt it was my issue not hers. I also thought it could be because she was the only adopted child in the family or the only black child. I had a lot to learn.
2 years later we decided to add to our family. I had always wanted a large family. Plus, I thought maybe another adopted child would help LJ settle in. So, PJ arrived. PJ was a sweet 3 1/2 year old. She settled in and adjusted in a couple weeks. LJ, of course, was still unsettled and fighting me every step on the way. The next few years were extremely rocky. Never a peaceful day. The older kids hated the stress and commotion, but life went on. My husband at the time was in the military so I was a "single" parent a lot of the time. What a life. Not one I would want to do over.
But life continues, we got out of the military and settled in the midwest. One day, out of the blue we received a phone call that PJ had a brother, and would we like to adopt him. Definitely not on my agenda but after much discussion we decided to give it a try. KA, age 5 1/2 came the summer of '95. KA was either introverted and scared of his own shadow or bouncing off the walls. Take your pick. About the time we got him settled and on the right medicine we received a call that KA's foster brother SA needed a new placement. Since K and S had missed each other that year we decided, again, after much discussion, to bring him home too. At this point in 1996 - SA was 4 1/2, KA 6 1/2, PJ 9, LJ 11, JA 13, TA 15 , HJ 17 and JS 27, out of the house and married with a child of his own. Life never settled down. It has now been 12 years since SA joined our family and I have not had a stressless day yet.
To add to the confusion, my husband and I divorced and I was left to parent the 7 kids myself. Actually this was a better situation since my ex had a hard time dealing with the kids and all their issues. I think he definitely got the easier end of the deal.
A couple years later, I connected with DL an old school friend who I had known since we were 8. We grew up 2 blocks apart in San Diego. We never dated tho he had written me a few love letters in grade school and even gave me a ring in 5th grade. OK it was out of a cracker jacks box, but it was the thought that counts. We were married in 2000 and I am now the proud step parent of JA 39, PM 21, KM 21 and LM 18.
I always wanted a large family but I never dreamed it would come about the way it did. Life is like a box of chocolates – “you never know what you’re gonna get."
To see more of my family check out my web page
http://www.abandcs.com/Have a wonderful day and we will chat soon.
Charyl
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