Confusion

Confusion

Have you ever felt something was just right and then it was taken away?

How about when you feel like Jesus led you to the perfect place and then it was gone?

Confusion reigns in my heart without answers. I just don't get it. Maybe I never will.

I really felt God led me to my job at the Lighthouse. I loved it there. I loved the people. I loved the job. I was content to stay there for a long time. And then I got sick. Then I got sicker. And sicker.  Ended up in the hospital.

Weeks went by and I felt I needed to resign and let go of the job. I had no idea how long it would be until I was strong enough to go back. Didn't feel it was fair to keep them hanging.

The problem is... My heart is still there but my body can't handle it. I am still to weak and my immune system is toast and couldn't handle all the germs anywhere and especially there.

So why? Why did God give me that perfect job and then take it away. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis.

When I look at the scriptures I see:

Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans that I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

I know these are both true. I know I can trust Jesus to lead me down the right path. Even if I don't see the reason for it. I know that Jesus sees the whole picture. I only see a sliver of it. He sees how it all fits together and I only see the random pieces of the puzzle that don't make sense.

So, I will wait and pray and see how He guides me. I don't want to push any doors open that He wants closed. I have been known to do that and it doesn't work out so well.

Consequently, I will live in the land of confusion until God gives me the next move I need to make. I will wait patiently (or not so patiently) until I see the path I need to take.  He is faithful and He will do it.

Until Next Time,
Charyl aka Mom8isme

52 Pieces of Me Part 4

January 15, 1976 is a day that I will always remember. It was my Birthday as a Born Again Christian. Sure I had gone to church all my life – even joined the church, made a profession of faith and been baptized when I was 12 – but it was never anything more than just words to me.

Back in 1975 I was working for a CPA firm and one of my co-workers, Gary kept telling me about Jesus. I politely listened and even thought at one point – what are you talking about – I was born a Christian. Yeah right. Let me back up a bit farther to the how and why I was working at this CPA firm. I can even see God’s hand in getting me into that job. I was just finishing up my degree in Accounting and had applied to take the CPA exam in November. But I was a DAY late turning in my application and was turned down for the November exam. I did everything I could to get them to accept me but the final answer was NO. My day told me that every cloud had a silver lining but I sure couldn’t see it at the time. I knew I needed to do something to fill the time until the next exam in May. The next day I was up at the local convenience store crying about my situation and the store keeper told me he had heard that the company that did his bookkeeping was looking for another accountant. He referred me to them and I had a job the next week. This was where I meet Gary, who eventually led me to Christ.

Back to January 1976 - I had always “tried” to live a good life but I had slipped quite a bit around that time. I was drinking a lot and my life was a bit out of control. Jeff, my oldest, was in grade school at that time and one day he and another boy collided on the playground and Jeff bounced his head pretty hard on the cement. The Dr told me to watch him all night, wake him up often, check his eyes, etc. Needless to say it made for a long night. But around midnight or 1am, I got bored and ended up picking up my Bible and the Bridge illustration that Gary had written down for me over lunch one day. I got to thinking about my life and all that Gary had been saying. It finally made sense to me. I WAS a sinner and only Jesus could do anything about it. (6 months before I was still “trying” to live the good life. So I can definitely see God’s timing.) At this point I knew what sin was. I could totally identify. So sometime in the early morning of January 15, 1976, I prayed the prayer of salvation and asked Jesus to come into my life and heart. THAT was the turning point in my life. From then on I have never been alone. I have always had Jesus with me. Heck, even the Bible finally made sense. Thank you Gary for sharing Jesus with me. I will be forever grateful!!!!!!!!!!!