SA, 16, has been home almost 3 weeks now. He just got home from spending 9 months in a residential treatment center. It was his 3rd time gone in the last 26 months. He was only home about 3 months each time between stays. SA isn’t a bad kid, just one with lots and lots of issues from his prior life.
SA has lots of initials after his name: RAD, ODD, PTSD, ADHD, etc. He wants me to trust him. It seems to come up daily, sometimes more often. “When are you going to trust me?” When can I do this or that? He always says “that was in the past!” Meaning his stealing, lying, threatening, etc. Yesterday would even be considered past to him.
How do you trust someone who has burned you so badly in the past? How can I even think about not locking the bedroom doors after having so much stolen? How can I not walk around with pepper spray in my pocket after him trying to attack me plus all the threats to kill me? Plus all the breaking and entering and stolen stuff I have found in his room over the years? How does a person learn to trust someone again after being so violated over and over? I know it will take good, acceptable behavior over time. I, also, know I may never trust him again. It is so hard because my “mommy” heart wants to trust but my logical mind says “no way”. So, we continue on the journey of growing SA up.
SA has lots of initials after his name: RAD, ODD, PTSD, ADHD, etc. He wants me to trust him. It seems to come up daily, sometimes more often. “When are you going to trust me?” When can I do this or that? He always says “that was in the past!” Meaning his stealing, lying, threatening, etc. Yesterday would even be considered past to him.
How do you trust someone who has burned you so badly in the past? How can I even think about not locking the bedroom doors after having so much stolen? How can I not walk around with pepper spray in my pocket after him trying to attack me plus all the threats to kill me? Plus all the breaking and entering and stolen stuff I have found in his room over the years? How does a person learn to trust someone again after being so violated over and over? I know it will take good, acceptable behavior over time. I, also, know I may never trust him again. It is so hard because my “mommy” heart wants to trust but my logical mind says “no way”. So, we continue on the journey of growing SA up.
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