39 Days to GO

Sometimes I just get tired of stress. I haven’t blogged for a while about my kid issues – tho that is not an indication of me being stress-free and on top of things, more an indication of my being overwhelmed. Lately I have been going thru periods of staring at the ceiling and hoping answers will miraculously appear. I am sure God has a plan, I just don’t know what it is yet.

SA turns 18 in 39 days. I remember when it was over 365 and now we are down to less than 40. The problem is – the closer it gets the more I panic. The RT facility wants me to have a plan in place. Where he will go, where he will live, and who will take care of him, etc. I have tried and tried and come up with zero. He can’t come home!!!!! He isn’t safe and I still consider him a serious threat to me and the family. But no place else wants him either. Right now I am down to Boston with his birth family, Job Corps, a transitional living program or being homeless. Not fun choices. Plus he hasn’t been accepted into Job Corps or the Transitional Living Program yet. To make it worse, they have moved his discharge date up to the 15th. So I have 20 days to figure this all out. He will only be 17 when he is discharged. I am still legally responsible.

I am confused as to why they are releasing him early. Last night he had to be physically managed and sedated. Plus on his weekly progress report that I received today – it stated that he had banged a kid’s head down on a desk. He continues to be threatening to the other kids and staff. THIS does not sound like behavior that would be acceptable in the outside world, so why are they sending him home?

More of the confusing details next time.

What happened to this cute little guy!!!!

Lisa turns 19

I am getting to the end. Just a couple more Kids to go. Again, no pixs of Lisa at Christmas time. We had planned a trip but the snow and ice made those plans fly out the window. Here is a pix of Lisa with her dad when we celebrated her 19th birthday.

Peter

We miss seeing Peter - he is so far away.

Ok - I don't have any pixs of Peter at Christmas but I will have to make do and add some of him doing other things. Peter is in College studying to be a large animal Vet at LSU. You go Peter!

Patty at Christmas

Patty with Nyesha over celebrating Christmas with Leah and her kids

Patty opening her presents

Katie & Clayton - Christmas

Aren't they a Cute couple!
We spent a day with them before Christmas.

Wish they lived closer.

Leah and kids - Christmas

Leah, Nyesha, Junior and Gavin

Nyesha - 4 1/2

Jeremy Jr (Junior) - 3 1/2

GAVIN - 1 1/2

Jay, Meredith and Domino

Jay, Meredith and Domino on Christmas

Timmy, Eliana, Meredith and Kyleigh

JJ

Timmy & Esther and the kids - Christmas

See, I am working my way thru the family. I will make it before Easter. :-) Today is Timmy, Esther and the family. They recently moved to the Houston, TX area. I miss them all so much.

Timmy and his beautiful family.

Timmy and Esther - aren't they a cute couple.

Eliana (6 - she turned 7 in January)

Timmy Jr (4 - he turned 5 a couple weeks ago)

Katrina, our little redhead (2)

Baby Gracie (2 1/2 months)

Holly and Kyleigh's Christmas

OK - I am trying to work my way thru the family - one unit at a time. Hopefully I will be caught up before Easter. :-) Here are Holly, Kyleigh and Sprocket the dog.

Corey and Sydney Christmas

OK - I have decided I will never get all my grandkids Christmas pixs on here one at a time. Sooooo I am going to do them by family starting with Jeff and Suzie's 2 - Sydney (14) and Corey (12. I rarely get to see them. It is just not right - I miss them all alot. Have to figure out a way to get over there soon.

Quote of the Day

The future belongs to the risk takers, not the security seekers. The more you seek security, the less of it you will have and the more you pursue opportunity, the more security you will achieve.
Brian Tracy

I totally enjoy Brian Tracy. I have read his book Goals and love it. He is so right, people need to go for the goal (opportunity) and not just seek security. THAT is what I want for my life but I keep falling back into the wanting something secure. That might have something to do with all the trauma the boys caused me the last several years. I have gotten so tired of stress and a lack of security seems to cause more stress for me. I am so hoping that once my frayed nerves start to mend I will be able to climb out on the limb more and more and before I know it - I will freely be a risk taker. How about you?? Are you a risk taker or security seeker??? You can’t be both.

Have a fantastic Day.

Christmas Pixs - Kyleigh

Holly, Kyleigh and Sprocket.

Kyleigh had a wonderful Christmas.

She loves her doggy.

Quote of the Day

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure."
George E. Woodberry

What a quote. I can relate to this quote on so many levels. I have felt this way so many times regarding raising some of my adopted kids. I have felt defeated to the bone. I have tried, and tried and tried with them but to no avail. They have made choices contrary to what is best for them and for society. Do I think I could have done better? Sure, in hindsight everyone can see things they could have done different. But I know in my heart of hearts that I did my best given the circumstances and situation. I know I did more than many would have. Had I not tried – now that would have been the true failure.

Have a GREAT day!

Christmas Pixs - Katrina

I am so falling behind in my Grandkid Pixs. This is Katrina, Timmy and Esther's #3. She is a red head all the way. Such a sweetie!!!!!!!!

Quote of the Day

"The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams."
— Og Mandino: Author, The Greatest Salesman in the World.

I love to set and achieve goals. I have lived most of my life by goals and to do lists. I usually know what I am aiming at. Sometimes tho, I get off focus and am aimless. I hate that feeling. I also don’t like not knowing what God wants me to do. Heck, sometimes I don’t know what I want me to do. I want a passion and something I am passionate about. Something I am so passionate about it gets me up in the morning excited about the day. I have things I can do. Things I am good at. Things I sort of enjoy doing – but nothing I am passionate about. Once I find something I am passionate about, then figure out how to monetize that passion. Life will come into focus and I will be able to move forward in a positive direction.

Until then, I will go thru one day at a time praying for direction and passion. Do you have direction and passion??? I sure hope so.

Have a magnificient day.

Gavin Christmas Pix

Gavin is Grandchild #13. He is Leah's youngest. He is a year and a half. He is a sweetie but definitely "all boy".

I was just sorry they didn't get to make it over here to celebrate Christmas with us.

Christmas Pix - Gracie

I have decided to start with the youngest grandchild first and work my way up the ladder. Don't have all the grandkids but will do my best.

This is Gracie's 1st Christmas. She is such a sweetie and I am sure she enjoyed the celebration immensely. Grace is Timmy and Esther's youngest. They just moved to Houston, TX. I am going to miss all of them ALOT!!!!!!!!!

Quote of the Day

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why."
Eddie Cantor

Hmmmmmmm wondering how a quote can slap you in the face so hard. This is MY quote for the day. I need to “slow down and enjoy life.” Seriously, I miss way too much. Or I am to tense to see what is along the way on the path of life.

Am I the only one going a mile a minute and trying to slow down and smell the roses? Surely not. Life is not this serious. Or if it is – I am not slowed down enough to notice. Once again, my goal for 2010 is to relax and enjoy life. If you have suggestions – I am totally up for them.

Until next time – relax and enjoy life.

Quote of the Day

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
Christopher Reeve

Everyone needs to dream. Dream big and realize you can fulfill your dreams. I recently read a fantastic book that JJ told me about. Dream Manager by Matthew Kelly. It is an awesome book. I truly believe EVERYONE needs a Dream Manager to help them figure out how to get from point A to Point B in fulfilling their dreams. Do you have a dream? I do. Actually I have many. I am taking one step at a time and they will come true.

Have a magnificent day and remember to DREAM!!!!

Quote of the Day

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them."
Denis Waitley

I really like this quote. It goes along with the one yesterday about not blaming others and owning the issue/problem. I have no problem owning my issues. I have a bigger problem not owning the issues of others.

I have a couple goals for 2010. One is to get over my busyness addiction. When I relax I feel guilty. I need to learn to relax plus to have “focused” activity. Sometimes I wonder if I am a tad bit ADHD. Surely NOT!!! :-) My other goal is to figure out how to make Every Day Saturday. 1st action is to set up a couple LLCs. I wish it was as easy as it sounds. Guess I need to contact an attorney to get a couple questions answered. I will keep you posted as I journey down this path.

Have a fantastic day.
Charyl

Kyleigh's Christmas Program

Kyleigh was NOT a happy camper during this program. I honestly think they forgot to practice. All the kids were out of sorts. Ky just seems to show it as being very somber. The little boy behind her was having a total melt down. After the program, Patty, Eliana and I took Kyleigh and as Eliana explained to her mom - "we went shopping, shopping shopping, eating, then shopping shopping, more shopping and then eating again." At least Patty and I got alot of Christmas shopping done while the girls played. As soon as the program was over Kyleigh had a VERY good time.

Quote of the Day

People may fail many times, but they become failures
only when they begin to blame someone else.
Unknown

Oh, if only some of my kids could learn this. I am thinking of a couple of the younger ones who have not owned any problem EVER. It is always someone else’s fault in their minds. It is sad, and something I have tried to teach them over the years but to no avail. Sadly I was the blame, in their minds, for just about everything. Everything from school and family problems to the weather. I have learned enough about Reactive Attachment Disorder to know that this is typical. No conscience so, of course, someone else has to be to blame. It is obviously NOT their fault.

I am so thankful I have a normal conscience and am very familiar with feeling guilty. Sometimes my “feeling guilty” is on hyper-over-drive. Tho knowing Jesus as my Lord and Savior sure helps since I know that HE will forgive me of all my sins.

Have a wonderful day.